The trick of moving out of your Comfort Zone – Comfortably

Tight rope walking 6,000 feet up

I have always wanted to go to Yosemite national park and when I finally got the chance this summer I witnessed something amazing. My friend Lynn and I decided to hike up to Yosemite falls to burn off some of last night’s beer and hot dogs. While heading up we kept running into other hiker looking up. “Have you seen the guys at the top?” they would say in awed voices pointing to a cleft at the peak were the falls were gushing out 6,000 feet above. “Some guys are tight rope walking up there, can you see the line?” In what seemed like miles above us I could make out a tooth floss thin line spanning the rapids. Geez! I thought what kind of person would want to do that??

About 40 minutes later we got to the top and an amazing scene unfolded. Right next to the falls beyond the safety barrier was a slackline bolted deep into the rock and pulled tight about 300 feet across the roaring falls. Just standing close to the edge made my heart palpitate but when looking at the line it actually stopped for a few seconds. “Oh… My… God…” I said looking at the shirtless 20-year old about to venture out on to the line. The wind howled up for the falls blowing droplets of mist above the roar of the massive falls. I watched in horror and incredulity as the first guy ventured out on the line. My heart nearly burst when he fell grabbing the slack line on his way down. He was saved by his safety line and surprisingly was in about as much danger as he would be five feet off the ground.

“Do you want to try?”

When he came back, I talked to him and his friends for a while. “How did you get into something like this?” I said trying to sound as if I had done similar stunts. “Well most of us are climbers and it is not a far leap from that to this. One of the guys was into slacklining and introduced the rest of us to it, that eventually lead us here.” He said looking down at the falls like they weren’t instant death to the unwary.  I shook my head and said, “I have to admit this is just amazing, if I had the balance to walk on that line I would totally want to try it.”  “Oh you don’t need to be able to balance to go out there, just put on a harness and clip onto the line, you can pull yourself upside down over the falls.”  “Really?” then my stomach fell out my backside when he said in slow-mo, “Dooo youu waaant tooo tryyyy?” My bluff got called… “Oh crap, I don’t know if I can do that.” My head became very light and I am sure I turned a waxy shade. This was way way WAYYY… out of my comfort zone.

Why moving out of one’s comfort zone is so important

For a person to be happy they need a few key ingredients. One of the most crucial and often ignored is the need for growth and uncertainty. I imagine this need is what drove our ancestors to sail across the oceans and venture away from the warmth of Africa. This drive is necessary for human happiness and in the past crucial for survival. Unfortunately this need is in discord with the opposite need for certainty/security. Most of us sit down the dinner table of life, heap on the meaty security and only have a small serving of coniferous growth. Then it’s washed down with media and alcohol to never know it was lacking.

Growth and uncertainty is not nearly as scary as you might think

When I saw these guys crossing the falls on a tight rope my first thought was that I could and would never do such a thing, these guys were crazy! But wait… was there anything really exceptional about these guys? Not really, all they had was a desire, some knowledge and damn good balance! They went out of their comfort zone in stages like any of us might.

Having a leader or some tool to help you along the way

Remember when he told me that one of the guys was into slacklining? Right away they had a person that they could get answers from, they could copy and borrow confidence from. They had a mentor that could guide them in the proper safely, someone that made the undoable possible simply because he had already done it.

Having some sort of guide/leader or mentor reduces the fear factor radically. Not only do your borrow their confidence but you can skip a lot of the mistakes you might initially make. When running my first marathon I did a ton of research, found a good training program and ran once a week with someone who had done it before and I was amazed at how easy the actual run was.

Taking small steps

The more unknowns involved, the greater the fear. If your experience level is at zero the task will loom out of control but if you reach it through stages it far less intimating.

My slackline friend mentioned that he and his friends were climbers for a long time first and getting into slacklining was a relatively smooth transition. All they really had to do was get good at walking the line strung between two trees in someones backyard. Next was to walk across some blocks twenty feet up, once good at this they kept upping the scenery until they were 6,000 feet in the air over a waterfall.

Comfort zone Base-camp – Desensitizing the fear

I believe in two schools of growth, one is radical immersion and the other I call base-camping. For most people radical immersion is just too much and the strength to face such a stressful thing takes time. The more reasonable solution, base-camping gets you to the same goal with far less stress, granted it takes a bit longer!

Imagine you desire to climb a large mountain. You can either do it in a few days or a few weeks. It is possible to do in a few days but the stress involved might kill the pleasure in the experience or if you couldn’t handle the stress you would have to turn around and forget the entire project. However, if you hiked up to a base camp and stayed for a couple days you would soon be comfortable and confident at this altitude of your achievement. Climbing and staying at levels is an excellent way to desensitize your fear.

I ran quite a few 10Ks before I ran my first half marathon and a few half marathons before my first marathon and I would like to run some more marathons before my first 50K! This steady progression will get me to ultra marathon distances without the perceived stress of failure.

Spotlight times when you succeeded and accept the challenge

In high school I was a competitive swimmer and I was incredibly proud of this. Often we would train as much as 4 hours a day. We sometimes would exercise to the point of dry heaves on the side of the pool and tremendous headaches after a rough practice.

This sounds horrible but I treasure this early challenge, without it I never would have believed it possible to do many of the things I have done. If a task seems impossible look for a time in the past were achieved a similar success. Once found, focus on this and post some pictures on your mirror and fridge. The perception of a task’s difficulty is the largest hurdle not the task itself.

Borrow another’s strength

From running marathons with friends to starting businesses it is always so much easier when you can share the challenge with others. Notice that it was not a single guy trying to cross the Yosemite falls it was a team of people. They encouraged one another, shared the challenged and experienced a greater joy as a group.

Next time you have a challenge and it seems too daunting consider a partnership. I have been thinking about biking to Brazil from Santa Barbara and I am nervous to go alone but I think I have found someone to go with and the trip seems so much more possible because of it.

The shocking lack of danger out there – people are good

I think the number one reason why others don’t overcome their fear and attempt a new task is because they perceive they are an island. No person can accomplish a worthy task without the help and encouragement of others. These people are out there, they want you to succeed and all one has to do is ask for that help.

People love others that put themselves out there and they are drawn to help you succeed. Maybe it is a loan for a business or as simple as a farmer giving you a place to stay while traveling.

Good luck and start now!

Moving out of ones comfort zone on a consistent basis is as important as eating healthy food and exercising. It takes time to get good at it and it has to be constantly applied. Learning this facet of life has given me joy than any other.  I hope you take that first step towards a life you are proud to be living.

BTW: I wasn’t able to go on the slackline, the main guy came by and vetoed me going. I was disappointed and relieved to about the same degree. Hope you enjoy the video it was actually the video I talk about.